Reflections On My Rookie Year

 our first-year homeschool room

our first-year homeschool room

My first year of homeschooling is behind me and I feel a little sad to let it go. So much has changed in our lives this year that my head is spinning just thinking about it all. I’ve enjoyed my first year…immensely. Some days are hard and frustrating but the joy is still present…a living joy. Finally, I am where I am supposed to be…peace follows the realization of these words. Peace that endures. All my life I have felt out of step…like I did not belong to the place or moment in which I existed. Funny that I find such focus in my soul and life as my physical eye sight fades…(I need a large print Bible).

Spiritually, I felt a bit lost as last summer ended. My home church had become unsafe for one of my children. I was stunned and deeply discouraged by some members’ reactions to my child’s suffering. It hurts to be ostracized by the people you love…tons. Looking for a new church home was hard and some days I just wanted to give up on organized fellowship altogether. Anxiety gets the best of me sometimes and I stayed home those Sunday mornings. Eventually we did find a church home…just not the community I expected Jesus to place us. We are all happy in this new church…and safe. Adjusting to this new place was for me far harder than embracing the home learning lifestyle.

For the kids accepting the homeschooling way of life was challenging. The older two had been in public school and missed their friend and the rhythms of life associated with the lifestyle. They missed their friends from their old church as well and that made the transition a little more challenging than it should have been. Oldest had trouble slowing down…he was used to being hurried all the time. I still have to remind him that we make our own schedule and times now. He needs to take the time to ponder and learn…it seems the public school model takes the wonder and curiosity out of childhood. He also distrusts children his own age and barely associates with them…I am saddened over this because I know what a lonely childhood feels like. Sparkles spent the first part of the year regaining her self confidence…something so vital she was stripped of in public school. She excels now…in everything. JR completed both Kindergarten and first grade! I’ve struggled over the accelerated pace of his schooling. The second grade workload he is plowing through now is sometimes too much for a six-year-old. I forget sometimes and have to remind myself to let him be a little boy. Littlest is simply being raised in a learning environment and it shows…he does not understand a day off from school. I love teaching my children…this lifestyle feels natural and so very Biblical.

As each year goes by I feel closer to my husband but even more so this past year. Taking on the responsibility of educating our children has deepened our bond to each other as well as with our children. He is my knight in shining armor and I love him. I know he loves me and in the past couple of years I have come to feel less of a burden to him…more of a partner and a helper. I have found the more I embrace the model of Biblical marriage the deeper our marriage grows. My husband is amazing and I could not imagine life without him.

I thought about writing this post when I first started homeschooling. I expected it to be about curriculum choices, learning styles and co-ops. For our family becoming homeschoolers is more about seeking and embracing a lifestyle…a Biblical lifestyle. Not what I expected to write about.

God is good…fantastically good.

 

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