Journal: Anxiety and Detachment

at Hematite Lake

at Hematite Lake

The past couple of weeks have been rough. Wrestling with anxiety is an exhausting task. I am ready for a quiet week of healing after two weeks of heart flutters, breathlessness, stress sores and nightmares. I’ve been so stressed this week that we showed up at piano lessons without our music! We even stopped at the house after Lego Camp to get the music. I was ready to break down and cry.

Instead of starting up our summer session this week we are going to take a break from school. No math, no science, no grammar, no history…well that might be too drastic. I think we will read one of our medieval history books. We have two books about Eleanor of Aquitaine to enjoy so maybe we will binge-out on read

we crossed many bridges

we crossed many bridges

aloud time. Maybe I’ll find a copy of The Lion in Winter with Katherine Hepburn and Peter O’Toole for us to watch too. I spent a couple of hours in the school room today preparing a scrapbooking project for the kids to work on this week. I got each of them their own photo album so they can put together their own photo books of our last trip to Disney. I’ve set out all of my shape cutters, stickers, and pre-cut papers for them to get creative and have some fun.

While the kids are working on their creative project I plan to explore “the Hive’s” (the Well Trained Mind Forums) opinion on Teaching Textbooks. I think it may be a good fit for Sparkles. Before ordering it (or some other math

by the uprooted tree

by the uprooted tree

curriculum) I plan to try working with her a bit on decimals, place value, and fractions. Since the curriculum we currently use reviews frequently she may be fine anyway. Emotionally, it might be better for her to use a different curriculum from her little brother who has caught up to her academically. I’ll also spend some time pricing out art supplies for next year and getting those items ordered. I’m also going to register for Julie Bogart’s writing conference at The Well Trained Mind Online Conference. The more I read about her Bravewriter lifestyle the more I believe it will work for our family. The kids are excited to add a Poetry Tea Time to the week and actually asked for Shakespeare! I told them I wasn’t exactly ready for Willy but planned to start with my

Lake Hematite

Lake Hematite

all-time favorite Shel Silverstein. I did get a copy of the Lamb’s Tales from Shakespeare for my crew. I’m really looking forward to this conference!!!

Yesterday we enjoyed a lovely outing to the Land Between the Lakes. We left early and walked around Hematite Lake. The morning was perfect! The kids explored everything along the path. This year they were fascinated with the teeny-tiny frogs. We found a fish that had cleared out a spot for some unknown reason. We speculated that maybe the cleared area was for laying her eggs. Littlest walked the entire path around the lake! I took pictures of mushrooms this year. I was fascinated by their colors which did not show as vibrantly on the

history projects

history projects

camera. At The Nature Station I just loved the St. John’s Wort plant. I’d like to have one of those. I once had a lovely herb garden…many moons ago. I think I’d enjoy having one again…something to dream about. The rangers keep and tend to injured birds at the station. of all the birds Littlest loved the Screech Owl because he thought it looked like an Angry Bird. After a picnic we went to The Homeplace and enjoyed some Bluegrass music. I found a treasure trove of American history projects for the kids for next year. I also purchased a lucet and embroidery project for Oldest to use with his medieval history course. The sky opened up and rained on us at The Homeplace but it was so warm that the rain felt wonderful. The kids just played in the rain and had a blast. I didn’t feel

my husband and Littlest

my husband and Littlest

well at all while we were out but didn’t let that get in the way of spending a lovely day with my family.

Today we said goodbye to our pastor at church. He has been assigned to another church. I will miss him…so will the rest of the congregation. He seemed really sad at times. I thought Sparkles would cry but she didn’t. I think she just didn’t have any more tears to shed since her best friend moved away last month. I didn’t cry either and I always cry at times like this…

I’m already detached…

This weeks reads:

Beautiful…I hope my kids know that I believe in them…no matter. Have your tissues ready!

Did you see these chalkboards! This video explains the math circles on the chalkboards. Here is a printable to use with the math circles.

Experiences not things…makes sense to me.

The season I am in at the moment.

Linking up with: Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers

Weekly Wrap-up: Beatersville, Armageddon, and the Return of the Twitch

I’m not sure I remember everything that happened this week and some I wish I could forget. I had some sweet tea several times this weekend and my lovely twitch returned to my thumb this time spreading further up my arm. I think I will have to stick with water and lemon even when eating at a restaurant…I was also a little stressed earlier this week which was the main culprit for the return of the twitch. I really thought it would take drinking a pot of coffee a day to bring the twitch back but it only takes a little caffeine coupled with stress to resurrect the twitch. Or if I could find a way to live serene like the Buddha then I could have all the coffee I want ’cause nothing would get to me…well a girl can dream! I do have this fear that eventually the twitch will return without the fuel of caffeine. I’m still working through the stressor and not yet ready to write through the turmoil of rejection…the words are still locked by emotion.

Friday night I went to a homeschool graduation. That was really cool and gave me a lot to think (and dream) about.

Saturday turned out to be a beautiful day to take our annual walk around Hematite Lake. The day was mostly overcast so it didn’t get too hot and there were fewer mosquitos this year. Littlest managed to walk most of the trail this year which surprised us. Even though it was a holiday weekend I had the kids complete four lessons of math. They have no fought me at all on this change in math curriculum and have stepped up to the hard work of completing two years worth of math in one year. They embraced the challenge without complaining. I’m really proud of their hard work and determination…but don’t tell them!!

Sunday we skipped church and headed to Beatersville! We left early and drove to Louisville to walk through the old neighborhood that hosts the Phoenix Hill Tavern and Beatersville car show. The place was crammed full of cars and characters…more than I could post on here. The cars were a little nicer and cleaner this year…not as many chopped up weird gothic art pieces as last year. The crowd was full of more car enthusiasts (like us) than Beaters too. Still, not a single Mustang. After strolling through Beatersville we traveled to Bardstown and stopped at My Old Kentucky Home and then found a Mexican restaurant for a

late lunch. Our lunch was a little strange in that Oldest could not eat all of his food (he’s usually still hungry), Sparkles finished first (we always have to wait for her), Middle Boy was calm (he usually bounces around everywhere…even under the table), and Littlest was happy the entire time (he always finds something to cry about). The arrival of Armageddon would not have surprised me at that moment!

After lunch we decided to drive home by the back road. A detour brought us near one of my brother-in-laws’ so we stopped for a visit. The kids had a wonderful time running around his farm, playing with kittens, and listening to coyotes. We ended up getting home very late.

The rest of the week went by in a blur of schoolwork…math, math, and more math. WE also worked through several weather science labs building a barometer (that really worked), experimenting with heat absorption, and making rain in a petri dish. We’ve moved on in our American History studies to Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War. This kind of history is hard for me to get through when the kids are still so little. I really have to gloss over so much…history is a brutal, math is easy. I cannot believe we will finish Beautiful Feet Book’s Primary Early American History next week…wow! I did discover Supercharged Science this week and I am so excited…maybe…just maybe this is the hard core fun science I have been looking for…I hope.

This week two families made the decision to contact us about homeschooling. I’ve invited both to “come and see”. Some things you just have to talk about in person. Homeschooling isn’t just another task you add to your list…this is a way of life. For me this lifestyle is a precious and sacred calling. Once I embraced this calling I no longer felt lost and adrift in life…I am where I belong, performing the task God has blessed me for. For most of my life (until I met my husband) I have felt like I was watching through a window on life…never a part of life but separated…outcast in a way. This way of life with my husband and children is home…no matter where we roam and I would not trade it for the world.

I’m at a decision point for my blog. I’ve nearly used up my storage space. So, do I delete a bunch of pictures and posts or pay for my own space? I’m not sure where to go from here…any thoughts?

Linking up with Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers

 

 

 

Weekly Wrap-up: 100 Days and Looking Ahead

Yesterday, I received an unexpected gift. A box containing two precious loaves of bread: one white and one whole wheat. These are not just any loaves of bread…these are from the Passionist Nuns in Erlanger. Every time I toast a piece of their bread I remember the monastery kitchen…the smell just takes me back to my days when I lived among them. I love the sisters and my bonds of love with them are stronger than with any of my blood-relatives (especially now that my grandparents have passed on). My strength to be a good wife and mother was born within their cloistered walls.

Over the weekend we enjoyed The Homeplace at Land Between the Lakes. We just happened to be there when the staff who works the living-history farm was preparing for their Harvest or Thanksgiving meal. The ladies were busy in the kitchen cooking delicious smelling food and setting the table. The staff had been preparing for this feast for three days. Sparkles asked lots of questions in the kitchen and learned how much easier her kitchen chores are today compared to what they’d be in the early 1800’s. We wandered around the farm looking at the animals and buildings. Oldest’s favorite place is the smithy but it was closed up for the day. He did find someone in the tool building to talk to and learned about the carpenter’s bench. My crew was invited to chop wood for the cooking stove and that was fun to watch! We went out to LBL because we wanted to enjoy the fall colors…winter will be here all too soon. We enjoyed a beautiful day together. Once we begin to study westward expansion we will likely take part in some of the workshops.

This week we reached one hundred days of school. We celebrated with our friends at the local donut shop on Monday afternoon. At this point we are halfway through our school year…yikes! I will need to start planning soon. Oldest will be in his last year of elementary school. He will spend next school year preparing for middle school…wow. Sparkles and Middle Boy will be third graders and Littlest will begin preschool next fall. I will need to begin preparing and planning soon. After Christmas 2013 is a memory I will begin to plan. My first step in planning is in prayer. I will also be going to the big convention this year in Cincinnati so I hope to have next school year’s plans done and spend time looking into middle school resources. I expect to be overwhelmed by the numbers of people and the vastness of the city. I do not mind big cities so much…as long as I can stay in the vehicle and just pass through…

 

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Weekly Wrap-up #7 Double Birthday Week

the leader of the pack

the leader of the pack

We enjoyed a short three-day school week followed by two full days of “field trips”. Both Oldest and Sparkles had birthday’s this week so my husband took a couple of days off work and we went to the St Louis Zoo on Thursday and to Land Between the Lakes today.

Sparkles turned eight on Thursday. She wanted her ears pierced for her birthday and we will get that done on Monday…we also have Literature Club that day and my mother will arrive too. Monday may be scary for me…Anyway, we had a blast at the zoo. Getting to St. Louis was not so much fun. We lost about two hours on the way due to road construction. Frustrating. We ended up sitting in front of the VA hospital in Marion Illinois for just over half an hour. My brother is being treated there so I ended up thinking about him for a while.

at the planetarium

at the planetarium

Oldest turned ten today…wow! Ten years…I really just don’t know what to say. If I dwell on it too long then I’ll start to cry.  We gave him a Snap Circuit set for his birthday. He wasn’t sure what to think of it at first but he is hooked after building a working radio. We went to the planetarium at LBL and watched a little show about the sun and planets. We are nearly finished with our astronomy book so it was a nice little review of our studies. We then went to see the bison at birthday boy’s request. LBL is nice but I always get a little upset when I think about all of the families the government removed from their homes and land. It always leaves me wondering about our perception of freedom…

Tomorrow I will spend the day cleaning and making birthday cakes for the little birthday party on Sunday. My husband will decorate the cakes tomorrow night. Next week my mother will arrive…that spells stressed-out for me.

kris_weekly-wrap-up